Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
