dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
A+ Viking dick
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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