.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
