Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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