Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth

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  (916): she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth http://tfl.nu/a27z
  Replies (5) Good night (804) Bad night (2033)
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  (415): View more from California

  Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.

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  (415): Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer. http://tfl.nu/s996
  Replies (22) Good night (4700) Bad night (731)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?

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  (918): New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be? http://tfl.nu/0zp1
  Replies (17) Good night (5482) Bad night (1312)
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  (914): View more from New York

  after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.

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  (914): after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him. http://tfl.nu/2bsg
  Replies (41) Good night (831) Bad night (6401)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.

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  (907): started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night. http://tfl.nu/6i6d
  Replies (20) Good night (1280) Bad night (5174)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.

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  (917): He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm. http://tfl.nu/al4b
  Replies (8) Good night (7292) Bad night (1521)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.

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  (317): Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night. http://tfl.nu/8cwu
  Replies (4) Good night (1916) Bad night (598)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch

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  (541): And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch http://tfl.nu/6s8v
  Replies (13) Good night (3055) Bad night (865)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home

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  (505): I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home http://tfl.nu/ti9z
  Replies (5) Good night (635) Bad night (1108)
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  (842): View more from

  we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone

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  (842): we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone http://tfl.nu/yvho
  Replies (11) Good night (2558) Bad night (1043)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  hey man, it was for science okay.

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  (413): dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs. (443): hey man, it was for science okay. http://tfl.nu/r3mr
  Replies (10) Good night (1472) Bad night (516)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.

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  (312): 2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits. http://tfl.nu/57o4
  Replies (8) Good night (967) Bad night (490)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.

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  (931): Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close. http://tfl.nu/0xt0
  Replies (3) Good night (991) Bad night (772)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.

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  (919): Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home. http://tfl.nu/lft8
  Replies (2) Good night (760) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!

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  (707): Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP! http://tfl.nu/osdr
  Replies (0) Good night (262) Bad night (210)

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