Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.