Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
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I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
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Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.