Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?

(770): View more from Georgia

b/c u have herpes

(310): View more from California

No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.

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(310): Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss? (770): b/c u have herpes (310): No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole. http://tfl.nu/unxh

Replies (19) Good night (1023) Bad night (5518)
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(941): View more from Florida

Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.

(1-941): View more from Florida

That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.

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(941): Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there. (1-941): That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis. http://tfl.nu/r1u9

Replies (36) Good night (1039) Bad night (3468)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.

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(501): i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever. http://tfl.nu/sfg3

Replies (31) Good night (1347) Bad night (4170)
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(954): View more from Florida

thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.

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(954): thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much. http://tfl.nu/ll22

Replies (27) Good night (7526) Bad night (1136)
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(305): View more from Florida

I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn

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(305): I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn http://tfl.nu/ufam

Replies (25) Good night (4451) Bad night (1162)
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(440): View more from Ohio

I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.

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(440): I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill. http://tfl.nu/321p

Replies (2) Good night (2446) Bad night (1060)
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(281): View more from Texas

Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?

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(281): Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"? http://tfl.nu/nflv

Replies (13) Good night (4969) Bad night (1043)
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(585): View more from New York

any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?

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(585): any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later? http://tfl.nu/w8i3

Replies (16) Good night (5852) Bad night (1001)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood

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(617): False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood http://tfl.nu/hdoi

Replies (5) Good night (2907) Bad night (989)
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(770): View more from Georgia

his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....

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(770): his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me.... http://tfl.nu/rsl7

Replies (32) Good night (1474) Bad night (3211)
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(641): View more from Iowa

My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.

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(641): My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/v9dh

Replies (9) Good night (3698) Bad night (1019)
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(512): View more from Texas

I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.

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(512): I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself. http://tfl.nu/i5og

Replies (15) Good night (745) Bad night (3909)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.

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(501): I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II. http://tfl.nu/1v38

Replies (4) Good night (1001) Bad night (528)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out

(585): View more from New York

It's a post jail date

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(412): Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out (585): It's a post jail date http://tfl.nu/9iq3

Replies (0) Good night (525) Bad night (223)
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(703): View more from Virginia

YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...

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(703): YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!! (202): Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me... http://tfl.nu/al91

Replies (12) Good night (1202) Bad night (270)

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