You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
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