have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
