party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
