My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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