I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
