Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
