I am midnight drunk by noon
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
