Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think your dad took our porno
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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