Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
