New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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