where am i from again
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
