you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
