Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I don't think brook has ever known best
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
