Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize