I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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