I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
