Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
