wakey wakey hands off snakey
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The convent might be a nice break from real life
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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