waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
