he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
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Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
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She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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