I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Gay?
German.
Pity.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
