he told me I talked like a deaf person
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize