i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
