I just cut my nipple shaving
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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