Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
