so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
