So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
