Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
