i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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