that's an acceptable place to lick
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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