My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
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I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
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I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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