talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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