I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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