just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
