we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
