Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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