i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
