i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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