I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She's the barista slut.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize