i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You dont lie about slip and slides
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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