i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
