did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize