I faked an abortion last night.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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