It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize