Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Randomize