dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.