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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  the only muscles i have these days is kegels

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came

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• (408): View more from California

  Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (516): View more from New York

  I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?

  (1-516): View more from New York

  I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.

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• (424): View more from California

  Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch

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• (530): View more from California

  So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"

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• (805): View more from California

  i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person

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