Duck Duck Cougar?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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