Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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