Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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