just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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