see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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