dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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