Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
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