My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
