Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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