im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
