His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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